I don’t know about you, but as an elder millennial (thank you Iliza Shlesinger) I have been fed my entire life this narrative of, “If you love your job, you’ll never work a day in your life.”
Now, I have a hard time believing this is actually true, because the second something you love becomes a job it will change your relationship with it. You have to commoditize it and market it. I’m not saying that you won’t still love it, but I simply do not believe that it won’t feel like work.
This brings me to wonder…what exactly is a life’s purpose? Does it need to be my job? And do I even need one?
Sure, I know a lot of people that have a drive to make a difference, to be known and recognized. They have a need to make their imprint on the world. However, I’ve never had this drive. I actually had someone tell me that it’s because my soul is complete, but who knows.
In any case, I still feel this constant pressure from society that I’m supposed to have some greater life purpose and that this magic thing is going to give my life meaning, and that I should commoditize it and make money from it too.
Well I’m here to say, I think that’s bull shit. I also think that even finding out what you wanna be doing with your life can be one of the most difficult challenges we face in our lives. From high school, I’ve always felt this pressure to decide what I was gonna do with my life. What college are you gonna go to? What major are you going to have? What career do you want?
And I NEVER had an answer for this. I literally have been flying by the seat of my pants since I left my parents house. Communications major? Sure - I have no clue and that seems well rounded enough. Graduating during a recession? Cool - now I have to move home and work at a doggie daycare. And from there my entire career path has been:
What’s in front of me that’ll make me money?
As far as hobbies go, I don’t really have those either. So seriously - where is this life purpose of mine? Where is this magical thing that's supposed to give my life meaning?
I don’t have an answer to this and frankly, I don’t know if I'm ever going to have one. And I think that is OK! Why is there this pressure to have a singular purpose in life? Do we really have to have this purpose to give our lives meaning? Can’t our life be meaningful in other ways?
This reminds me of a point Ruby Warrington makes in her book Women Without Kids. She talks about one of society’s arguments for having children is that you’ll never get to experience real love unless you have kids. And sure, they’re right in one sense, I’m never going to experience the love a mother has for a child. But I do not believe there is a hierarchy to love, and I will have so many other types of love in my life that do not involve having children (I should probably do a whole separate writing on this…stay turned).
My point being, I think that much like telling me I need to have a child to have love, we are told that having a life's purpose is what gives us meaning. And I want to argue that we can find meaning in many other areas, that we have many “purposes” as you will. It may not be as profound as, “my life's purpose is to save humanity” but maybe it's as simple as, “I would like to make sure the people I love always feel that love I have for them”.
I think that’s enough for me. What about you?
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